The Honest and Untold Truth About Being the Boss
It’s Sunday night and this is my 14th day in a row working. I am exhausted and my body hurts. I have felt really drained today… physically, mentally and emotionally.
Last night, the person I love more than anything in this world, finally had a night off to spend with me. I got home from work and stayed on the couch for hours before he made me get up to go get something to eat. We ate and came home, where he tried to make me feel better. Yesterday was extremely busy, and I was exhausted…my feet hurt and are swollen, and I was very emotional. I started crying, and he told me I should get some sleep. He never gets time with me, and is the least selfish person on the planet. I am so very grateful for his love and support, but he sacrifices his feelings for mine too much and I often feel its unfair. He dates me because he loves me, but I often wonder if he knew what he was signing up for.
I am extremely grateful to be “the queen,” although I hate being called that. I hate the attention of it all, most of the time. I’m awkward and don’t know how to take compliments. I’m humble and I know that I would be nowhere today without my parents and my staff. I wake up every day and go to the job that I love, created by my dream, and get to make creative and tasty things alongside people who I absolutely adore. I mean, let’s be honest, we are making cupcakes! We make cakes! We create beautiful things all the time! How can I ever complain?
I know that I am blessed to do this every day, to have my family working for me, to be surrounded by such talented people. But I also know that I have worked and still work my ass off every day for this. This is 13, 14, 15 hours a day. This is walking into the beautiful building I brought back to life knowing that it cost me over 100k, with money borrowed from my parents, who didn’t have the money to give me in the first place. This is having two older brothers who have to constantly answer questions about The Queen’s Cups, who always have to talk about TQC any time we are together as if they don’t have their own lives. Talk about pressure, talk about guilt….talk about pride, talk about support. There is, and probably always will be mixed emotions. I often feel guilty for success.
The biggest misconception about being a business owner is that I must be rich because I work for myself. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I currently have 20 people on my payroll. Besides paying rent, utilities, insurance, food and the other bills we have…I have 19 other people and their families that I am responsible for. I get paid last. I always have and probably always will. When we were building our new TQC, I didn’t take a paycheck for six weeks so that I could pay bills and so my staff could be paid. I’m not sure how I survived, but I did, because I always find a way, especially when it comes to making my dreams a reality. That $3.25 per cupcake travels long and far before I normally see a penny of it. It takes so long to make money in a business and I respect every business who has stuck through the hard times to get to that point.
[rara_column_wrap]
[rara_column span=”3″]
[/rara_column]
[rara_column span=”3″]
[/rara_column]
[/rara_column_wrap]
Another misconception is that cupcakes make people happy and how can anyone be upset when they come to our shop. Cupcakes do make people happy, and 90% of the time, people are always happy when they come in. But, there are also some people that are not very pleasant. A customer recently told my front end staff that because we didn’t have what she wanted, she should have gone to another unsaid bakery. I mean, really? How rude is that? And since “the customer is always right,” we couldn’t even defend ourselves in fear that she would leave us a nasty review. Sometimes the way that we are spoken to is as if we are not people…that we don’t have feelings..that we personally offended this customer. Whenever someone walks through our doors, I don’t know what their day has been like before that. I don’t know if they just lost their job and had placed an order and they are paying money from money they don’t have for a special occasion that they just can’t get happy for. But, on the other hand, I have employees working for me that are also going through life traumas. I have girls going through divorces, people who are battling depression, people who are in dire straights financially. We are not perfect and I will never claim to be…but I know that we try our hardest to get there. I know that we put love into what we do. I know that I spend money on trying to get the best ingredients for all of my customers so that they are enjoying our product and feel that their money was well spent. I can’t make everyone happy, I learned that pretty quickly, but I will try. And my staff and I will continue to be nice to people who are not always nice back….because 9 out of 10 customers are amazing…but there will always be that one.
I have had to make some tough decisions in my five years of being “the boss.” Another term that I don’t always identify with. I’ve had to hire people and not hire others, always wondering if I made the right choice. I’ve had to let people go…which is the worst feeling but has to happen. I’ve had to turn away donating to charities which always makes me feel bad, but I just can’t afford it. I’ve had to defend myself, over and over. I have had to stand my ground just to prove a point against people who are my age and have to consider me their boss. I’ve had to go to the ATM right after the day is done and deposit cash so that checks don’t bounce the next day. I’ve feared to look at our business bank account. But it’s gotten easier over five years and I have learned so much about our business and most importantly, myself. I’ve had no choice but to boss up, start thinking about myself, my livelihood and my business.
At the end of the day, no matter how much I complain, no matter how tired I am…this is my life. This is what I chose. This was the plan for me. And I love my life. I love who I have chosen to surround myself with, I love what my business has become and I love that I get to work with both of my parents, even though it is so hard sometimes. I love our customers, especially the ones who have become our friends and who share all of their important memories with us. Since the beginning of this journey, I have always told myself that it was going to be worth it someday and I know it will be. Work hard now, vacation later.
So, even though at age 28 my body feels like it’s in its late 60s, I’m going to make this worth it. And to that person that I love more than anything in the world, I’m going to make this worth it for us, for our future family and their future family. I cannot thank you enough for your undying love and support. You are the greatest gift in my life, and I know that gift was sent from my Grumpy in Heaven.
The reason for this blog was to show the untold side of being a business owner, the side that doesn’t necessarily get shown because we feel we need to hide the negative…to protect ourselves and our business. But, I’m real and I know that so many of us feel the same way and we don’t always share it. So, I will, and I hope everyone can identify with me in some way.
-Renee
[rara_social facebook=”http://facebook.com/thequeenscups” twitter=”https://twitter.com/queenscups?lang=en” instagram=”https://www.instagram.com/thequeenscups/?hl=en” pinterest=”https://www.pinterest.com/thequeenscups”]
I wish you all the best in your new location , I have yet to stop in , but that will change. You truly get it , the pride and the challenges of ownership. I grew up with your Dad ? and uncles.
Thank you so much Terry. We would love for you to stop by. My dad loves seeing people he grew up with! Thank you for reading 🙂
Thank you for being so honest here!!! You are definitely not alone and I’m sure any business owner reading this is saying, “how did she get in my head!?” I hope you know all the hard work you have put in, and especially with the new location, WILL pay off! So proud of you and clearly your friends, family and customers are too! Keep up the amazing work!!
Thank you for sharing Renee! You are an inspiration!
Very well said Renee! Everything you said was absolutely true and I have no doubt you work your heart out because you are successful and that only happens due to hard work and dedication. Also, you have surrounded yourself with amazing people and that is worth its weight in gold! Hang in there and remember you have an entire network of people who love and support you!
Renee I have been in ur shoes but mine didnt last 5 yrs. I give u a lot of credit because u put in the long hours because u love what u do and u make people happy with anything u bake. Ur lucky to have the support that u have. Not a lot of business owners do. Just remember how many people u make happy it makes all the stress easier to handle. You make not like being called a queen but u are the Queen of Cup Cakes. Wish u the very best.
Thank you Renee for sharing your heart, your struggles, your dream and your passion.
I too am exhausted, not from being a business owner but for keeping my promise to Jacob. I am in school FT pursuing my RN – 16 credits – 5 classes and my lowest grade is a 98%. I do not have time for myself and I struggle to keep my children feeling like they are my number one while I pursue my dreams, attend school and study every minute I am awake. I know it will be worth it in the end when I am an RN.
Your long days, your success is demonstrated through your actions and words you shared in your blog. Your humble and very appreciative. You do not take anything for granted. After 5 years, you have seen what your business has grown into and with time your physical hours may be less and praying you see financial growth for yourself – you work hard and you deserve it!! It’s people like you who we strive to model after; selflessness is a great quality to have. I am sure your employees are blessed by you.
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you with many showers of blessings.
Warm regards,
Heather Westbury
Proud mom of Six beautiful children; one who lives in heaven.
Heather: R u Jake’s mom? I was his history teacher for a couple of years. He always sat in front of me. Once he begged me to let him sit in back. So I did and when he was ‘t on task I would yell “Jake, don’t make me have to come back there !!” And he would start laughing. His passing was the final nudge that I needed to retire. And at the beginning of January after the accident I put in my retirement letter. I will always remember my buddy Jake and may he rest always in eternal peace.
You are awesome! One hard working lady for sure.
I wish you many years of good health and much success in your life.
God bless you and thank you for all the delicious treats that you bake ?
This could not be better written if you paid someone! Being the boss (again, hate the term) is, at times, overwhelming. But when you are not at work, you are thinking about work, trying to find better ways, better methods, etc. We, business owners, must be a little nuts, because all the ups and downs I cant wait to get there every day. Then, some days, I wonder why the hell I do this! But at the end of the day, so worth it…and I don’t even make anything as cool as cupcakes!
Renee, you are a very special person. You always try to do the right thing and act from your heart. You have been there for my family’s ups and downs and have made everything better for all of us.
This is so inspirational. Your dedication to your craft and your team make it very clear that you are not a boss… you are a LEADER! Keep up the amazing work!
So glad this appeared on my page! I found your blog inspirational! I haven’t found your business yet but will seek you out, based on this! Keep living your life, as it was meant to be. You never know the lives you’ll impact!
You are amazing I showed up at your new shop before you were opened up. I had a very bad few months. Hip replacement month later broken leg. Was house bond for 7 weeks to let the leg heal all i wanted was a Queen Cupcake. We went to shop in Millbury and there was a sign you had moved. My husband and I pulled in to new shop and noticed that you were not opened up yet. We went to back out and you came running out and invited me in cause you knew us from the old shop in Millbury. I was not only thankful but grateful. I needed that cupcake more than you know. You brighten by day every time I come in your shop. I have been at least 15 times since. Just know that you lighten up peoples live every day. Your hard work pays off in more ways than you will every know.
Thank you so much Karen. I really appreciate you as a customer, as well as your husband, and I was thrilled to give you a cupcake that day. Thank you so so much!
Renee, people may be rude (shame on them) but I also think people are kinder and quicker with the compliments. Focus on that. Your attention to detail shows and you are so blessed with your parents by your side. Congratulations!
My first time at your new location, just as pleasant and welcoming as your Millbury shop. Cupcakes were delicious as expected. Keep up the hard work. Wish you all the success you are dreaming and hoping for yourself your family and you business.
You are truly an inspiration! <3
Preach! Raw honesty is so refreshing. In a time where more people are inspired to start their own business, is imperative to see all sides before making the plunge. Thank you for sharing this, and for making delicious cupcakes!
Thank you for writing this. I think so few people really understand what being a boss actually entails and how much is sacrificed to follow our dreams. One of my employees actually sent this blog to me because she knows that I’ve been going through it pretty hard this year. Explaining and defending myself is something I no longer do as much as I used to. The naysayers will never go away and it’s exhausting, but I’ve learned to let it roll off more easily than I used to. It’s amazing how much can change in a person in five years. Congratulations on your success! Your cupcakes are fantastic you clearly have such a passion for this that will sustain you in the hardest times! I would love to be a fellow business owner friend if you ever need.